Family Tyme

Ok, ya know, I know nobody gets along with EVERYONE in their family. This is true. But one of my biggest hurdles in life is worrying about what other people think about me. Especially family members. My family is small, not too many people to worry about, but Tom's family is BIG and I mean BIG! And for the most part, they all live here in the St. Louis area. Talk about intimidating at first - yeah, it was. But right now I'm concerned about 2 member's of my family.



First is my father. God am I really putting this in writing???? He is probably my biggest hurdle. All through my life, I've tried my damdest to please that man. Why??? I want to know WHY! In my opinion he is one of the most arrogant know it all's that I know. But I dont know, you know they say that the father is the most important figure in a girl's life growing up. Probably why I still have that stupid hurdle that keeps starting at me in the face. But I swear, no matter what I do its simply not good enough. He likes to take stabs at me every chance he gets and I cant tell if he is joking around or if he is serious. He knows that it makes me upset - I know that, so if he was joking wouldnt you think he would stop? Yes, I got pregnant at 20 and was unmarried. But SHIT havent I paid enough for that? I'm 34 years old and married to the same guy that got me pregnant and we are happy as hell. I have a great job, 2 great kids, a great house - but yet he still thinks that I'm a piece of shit. He adores my husband and I know he prefers him over me. The man is 75 years old and wont be around much longer and it breaks my heart to think that we can never have, what I consider, a wonderful father/daughter relationship. Oh well - like my best friend Erin says, he'll never change and once I realize that I'm sure I'll finally get over it.
Then there is my sister in law who I use to talk to on a daily basis. They moved to Singapore, her hubby is in the Air Force. Now, I know that there is a time difference, major time difference and its hard to talk on a daily basis. But we dont talk at all anymore. She has time to talk to my other sister in law, who by the way, she really didnt like. But I guess that changed. This goes back to Christmas - we had Christmas here at our house and she was being a big time crab ass. No doubt! Not only did I notice, but so did everyone else. I was in my garage talking with my neighbor about it and her daughter overheard me stating that she was acting like a bitch. I had no idea until a couple of days after that. My sister in law approached me about it. I felt horrible. But she even said she was being a bitch. Anyways - regardless her daughter heard me bad mouth her. I apologized profusly and I thought we worked it out. But ever since then, she wont return my calls or emails. It really hurts me that she would let one incident, which I've apologized over and over, ruin our relationship. But I guess that's the way it goes. They are going to be moving back to STL in a year and I'm not sure how I'm suppose to act. She is married to Tom's brother and I dont want to cause a problem between those two. I guess I'll just act cordial but leave it at that. If she can drop me that quick after being as close as we were for 13 years then that's fine -I'm done!